12.19.2013

The Hope of Glory

Tears are rolling before I even begin to write this one.

It's been a while, a very dark while.

I've been quiet, reaching and aching for God, who has seemed so silent.

So quick to forget that even in the silence, He is moving.

Around me, I watch precious little ones fighting the terrors of Hell within their minds, in their dreams, in their waking hours.

Trauma knows so little peace, yet so much fear and so many horrific lies. 

I wish I could tell you I've fought boldly before the throne of Grace with confidence, but I haven't.

I want to tell you of my doubts, my faithlessness, the rapids of fear that have paralyzed me...but not today.

Because today, I've been pondering...His majestic faithfulness against the backdrop of my soul's shadows.

Last year Christmas began to look different for us. Yes, there's the kids to shop for and the parties to attend, but around Thanksgiving of last year, people began calling, asking us to match them with families...families fighting to conquer the mountains of despair and shame.

We were humbled to see God work, but this year, you guys, there aren't words. 

Daily gift cards, food, groceries, diapers and donations have flooded our front porch. 

Glimpse into my life these last weeks, and you'll see...

A grandma, mother to three of her young grandchildren, $400 past due on her power bill, and a man, chasing after His Savior, calling to anonymously meet the need.

A mother reunified with her large tribe, and a small group standing in the gap, providing her with multiple bunk beds, mattresses, and groceries.

A mother laid off of her job with DHR intervention looming, and several businessmen intervening to provide her with work.

A new baby, showered with gifts, as her young mother chooses life and hope against the whispers of lies.

A father counting the days until his daughter lives with him again, as a church storms his home to make her room ready.

This is the Gospel in action

I want you to see it because I am so unworthy of witnessing the glory on their faces, hope where there has been no hope, destruction of shame cast against new found intention and purpose as they realize they are not alone.

I haven't been able to write...only ponder and consider Mary as she treasured and contemplated her very God coming to earth to shatter the sin reaching to hold her hostage.

No, it hasn't been exactly the miracle of God humbling himself to be born in human form.

But isn't a miracle all the same?

It's that very same God, taking life, making Himself known through you.

It is your Savior, Christ, in you...your Hope of Glory, our Hope of Glory...their Hope of Glory.

Because of Jesus~ 

2 comments:

  1. I've been checking your blog regularly for updates, Catie...and, truth be told, I've been concerned about you guys! I just had this sense that your family was going through a trial or trials of some sort and so I prayed and will continue to pray that peace will reign/return and that Jesus will cast out all fear and stress! Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and the happiest of New Year's!

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  2. Caiti, a friend recently forwarded me your blog (which I in turn forwarded to another foster mama friend) and we are in awe of how much you have put experiences such as hope with dips into valleys of despair we have felt, longings we have had, comments from well meaning strangers about the health of "our own children", etc. You have covered it ALL. Thank you for the time and emotional energy it takes to pour out your heart and cry out to the Devine in the midst of all of this interwoven beauty and heartache. It is comforting to know that there are other foster parents who reach out to love and see the image of God in all, including birth families. Thank you for your writing. It's incredibly encouraging to see what I have often felt and seen laid out so beautifully on the screen. Blessings on you and your family.

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