Questions We Foster Parents are Asked: Why Stay Involved...

...after the reunification?

Last week we invited all our kids home for Crazy Camp Lump.

Twelve were able to make it. 

And, when Sunday came, I hit the bed.

We've been asked a number of times recently why we go to the effort to have all the kids back regularly. And, why so often do we try to do it when they can all come at the same time?

Fran Sciacca, leader of Hands of Hur ministries and mentor to Jamie and me, recently said that our twenty-thirty something generation is a "tumbleweed generation."

What?

Meaning, in general, we stay with a job until it no longer suits us. We stay with a church until it no longer meets our needs. We stay with a spouse as long as we are fulfilled. Our friendships, relationships, and conversations remain safe, rather than deep.

We have no roots.

And more than that, we are raising our children exponentially in the same manner.

Now, before your defenses shoot up; think about it.

Then turn your eyes to families in crisis and see that this issue is compounded.

Every child we've had, has averaged a move every six months throughout their lifetimes. Sometimes it's with a family member; sometimes it's wherever they were able to find a bed that week.

We've had multiple children live longer in our home than they have lived anywhere else in their lives.

And when that pattern is established as a child, they will struggle to ever break from it, creating an absence of roots, an inability to attach, and crippling them to become socially, relationally and emotionally mature.

The opposite of tumbleweed is roots...

Bakewell Tree Trail

Roots that sink deep, ready to take a beating when the storms come.

Roots that intertwine with those of another when desperate support is needed.

Roots that are unmovable, to which one is always able to return.

And roots are a big deal to God too...

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” ~ Jeremiah 17:7-8

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him andestablished in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. 
~ Colossians 2:6-7

That according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. ~ Ephesians 3:16-17

I want those kind of roots for me, for Jamie, for my children and the children who journey through our home.

We want them to remember that at some point in their lives they experienced deep, abiding roots of safety, stability, and hope in light of the grace of God...and that they were designed to have these things.

We want them to be able to return and see their marks upon the measuring stick, pictures on the walls, artwork pasted all over the house, and names whispered from our lips before the Father.

We want them to know that they are part of our roots.

It isn't convenient.

It isn't comfortable.

But it is beauty.

And when I hear Big Sis whispering to my three amigas that they are safe, they are loved, and their family is not forgotten by us...

It takes my breath away, and tears spring to my eyes.

Roots...

A perfect moment with Baby J.

Little Sis preparing to nail her birthday pinata.

Papa Jamie preparing 12 ice cream sundaes.

Aim for roots.

Looking unto Jesus,