I am Broken; Hear Me Roar...

In 1972 activist singer Helen Reddy first sang the words to "I am Woman":

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again.

Well, I tell you Helen...

I am woman; I am broken.

In the span of three days, I've seen...

The newly widowed wife of 30 years take her husband's ring from the mortician, slip it around her neck and turn to soak my shirt with her tears.

I've heard Brother and Sister whisper of their nightmares from watching the father who redeemed them leave this world before their eyes without notice.

I've seen my friend stand by her husband as he watched his mother leave this world.

I've cried for a woman who has been asked to understand it is time to say goodbye to her son. The finality of no more treatments.

Then there's the husband, the father, praying for the wisdom to face the future as he studies his wife on the hospital bed.

And from my knees, I've wept for my mother as she and dad have begun the delicate, hassled dance of doctors and tests for the tumor within her. 

So, I looked into the mirror tonight and uttered, Jesus, I am broken, as tears finally choked through my gasps.

And, because of my precious friend Stephanie, I am reminded that the name of Jesus is stronger...than the stroke, the tumor, the prognosis, the death. For in that name is victory upon victory, and it holds the very keys of death and Hell.

Yet, I remain broken, restless, aching...because all of this is unnatural. It is not what I was designed for.

I was made for wholeness. I was created for beauty. I was crafted for Glory.

And we all, with unveiled faces, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image with ever-increasing glory. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.                                                                                                                            ~ 2 Corinthians 3:18

I was made to look like Jesus, and one day I really, truly, fully will.

I'll mirror the One who was broken for me.

And in this mess in between, this chaotic, crazy gal is seen robed in righteousness of Christ.

Broken Beauty.

Each pain, each chisel, unveils a little more glory as He threads a new dimension in the Tapestry of His Glory.

And all I must do is trust, and watch, and obey from my knees.

I've been considering how we as the Body of Christ often want to keep these painful places hidden, quiet, buried.

Yet, is it just about me? Or just about you?

Or could our unveilings be for one another, as together we are formed into the Bride of Christ?

If so, let us roar, as Helen Reddy punned not so long ago. Not for our invincibility, but in our broken neediness. 

I'm reminded of one of my current favorite hymns, "The Lord Will Provide," by John Newton:

Though troubles assail and dangers affright,
Though friends should all fail and foes all unite;
Yet one thing secures us, whatever betide,
The scripture assures us, the Lord will provide

The birds without barn or storehouse are fed,
From them let us learn to trust for our bread:
His saints, what is fitting, shall ne'er be denied,
So long as it's written, the Lord will provide

We may, like the ships, by tempest be tossed
On perilous deeps, but cannot be lost.
Though Satan enrages the wind and the tide,
The promise engages, the Lord will provide.

His call we obey, like Abram of old,
Not knowing our way, but faith makes us bold;
For though we are strangers we have a good Guide,
And trust in all dangers, the Lord will provide

When Satan appears to stop up our path,
And fill us with fears, we triumph by faith;
He cannot take from us, though oft he has tried,
This heart-cheering promise, the Lord will provide

He tells us we're weak, our hope is in vain,
The good that we seek we ne'er shall obtain,
But when such suggestions our spirits have plied,
This answers all questions, the Lord will provide

No strength of our own, or goodness we claim,
Yet since we have known the Savior's great name;
In this our strong tower for safety we hide,
The Lord is our power, the Lord will provide

When life sinks apace and death is in view,
This word of his grace shall comfort us through:
No fearing or doubting with Christ on our side,
We hope to die shouting the Lord will provide

Looking unto Jesus, The Author and Perfecter of our Faith,