It was the week of my 30th birthday, that a good friend came face to face with his Savior. He left this sorrowful, broken world and met an eternity of hope realized.
It was also that week, that Jamie and I feel to our knees and surrendered it all. We vowed to abandon the dreams of new cars and the final home, having it together, and secure retirement. We committed to consistently surrendering our idols of protecting and creating our children for ourselves. We took up a real cross of desperation, for God the Father to have all of us, our lives, our children, our schedules, our futures, our finances, our home and possessions. We began to pray that He would only bring us the things that would bring Himself glory.
Two years later, our lives look quite different. In that season, we thought God would take us various new places with new ministries, and then the Father crystalized that He was calling us to do life with the Fatherless. To love the broken. To recognize the destructive impact of sin.
Now, two of those Fatherless are in our home, and our longing is that there will never be another day, without at least one child who finds shelter here. That there will never be another day, where a birthmother is not taken before the Heavenly Father as we intercede on her behalf.
We've been in awe of others responses. Both good and bad. So many have supported us. Daily, clothes, food, and other things just appear on our front porch. I know that will taper off as time wears on, but I've seen the provision of God.
But, others have also voiced their fears for us. We're grateful for concerns, but we have no doubt of our calling. There's those who say we're going to let our children see horrible things, break their hearts, and let them feel abandoned. God has answered with Caleb rising each morning, hugging me and saying, "We are the luckiest people in the world to be called to this," or Benj sitting in the floor with Big Sis M and saying, "Jesus loves you more than any Mommy or Daddy every could."
There's those who say we're not making a difference. They remind us the kids will return right back where they come from. The Father faithfully reminded me that Jesus said, "When you gave them food, clothes, shelter, you did these unto me." We can do that.
There's those who say, you'll just die when you give them back. It will destroy you. It'll probably bum us out. But this isn't a one time thing; we believe God will bring us more. Some will be here a little while, some a long while, and some maybe always. Our calling isn't to live today based on what may happen three months from now; our job is to love these children today. And really, our own children are not ours; their lives belong to another. We are only stewards of them for this very short season.
So, we are embracing these moments, knowing that our family's looks can change any day, that a new need can pop up in the budget at anytime, and that each hour brings new ways to say, "When we are weak, He is very strong."