I went back to my roots today, searched for where my thoughts were wandering when this crazy journey planted seed. It took me to my first post in November 2009: Caleb was six; Benjamin four; Daniel was two. We had been married eight years.
Across the world, an 11-year-old Chinese girl was being adopted. Within our city, a teen girl who would soon become a mother was being kicked out of her foster home; a mother was telling her daughters they may have to move away from her for a little while; a young mom was signing the rights of her daughter over to her mother, unaware she would be in the same situation in a few short years; a father was hugging his two daughters and young baby girl tightly, explaining they would be moving away with their mother for a while, and a little girl was in a safe, secure family that was about to be pushed to the extreme.
And, I was dreaming the dreams the Holy Spirit was whispering over me...
I'm aware I've fallen off the blogging world, but here is my initiative to return. If anything, I must show off my amazing friend Rachel's designs. (Her link is on the side.) But it's also that I'm a different person now than when Jamie and I began our last blog. This year has changed me. Christ has changed me. As I shared with a good friend yesterday, it's been a year of grieving...grieving friendships, life, death, sin, dreams...We've buried and quietly wept over each instance. In exchange, I have tasted my Savior. I've seen He is good, and I've witnessed His new mercy each morning, each hour, each moment.
And rightfully so, we've titled this blog This High Calling. Not because we are doing great things, but we have grown desperately sensitive this year to the truth that we are nothing, and at best we fail each other and those around us, but Jesus is doing some beautiful things, and we are honored and humbled to be part of these spaces. Loving Him because we are greatly loved is a high calling.
In our little corner of His kingdom, we're moving forward with homeschooling, life and ministry. I watched and held my grandmother's hand as her soul left this world just over a month ago. It was a sweet opportunity to stare my fear of death down once again with my Savior, who has conquered death. We've adopted a sweet golden retriever. He's blind, and his name is Lazarus. He worships the boys, and they worship him. I've watched Jamie grow into a man of God I couldn't have dreamed existed, and I've witnessed my boys confirm that as they now long to "grow up and be just like daddy and love Jesus a whole lot." And finally, we've grown to embrace the purpose of the empty chair at our six-person kitchen table. Her name is Frankie Joy, and we'll be filing for her within the first of the year.
So, we enter the holiday season with expectant hearts of what our Savior will do as He intercedes before the throne of grace on our behalf. As we begin considering closing the door of this year, we enter the ushering of the new with a new depth of understanding and confidence that we were made for so much more than this, and that the only reason we're in this place with these blessings is for His kingdom and purpose. And...we've only scratched the surface of this high calling.
Looking unto Jesus,