Hope for this Mama's Soul...

Sometimes, I'm asked how I let go...

Sometimes, I'm asked if I'm afraid we're neglecting or damaging our children...

Sometimes, I'm asked if orphan care has taken priority over the Great Commission in our lives...

And sometimes, I'm asked if I really think we're making any difference...

Almost 23 months ago, a baby girl came into foster care. Twenty months ago, she came into our home.

For six months, she was our daughter, our sister.

Fourteen months ago, she left, and we grieved in despair, rather than hope, expecting never to see her again. 

She was our first.

Today, a case was closed, and we were able to see the little girl who holds a piece of our hearts. What I wanted to cling tightly to, God set fire and created beauty.

In the beginning, it's not what I had wanted; it's not what had I hoped. 

But do we challenge the Potter?

Now, her home is no longer ours, but in exchange I have a new friend in Grandmother, who wants to know she is worthy. I have a new joy in siblings, who long to be pursued. I have a treasure in Daddy, hugging and thanking me for loving his daughter, and I have a memory of a little girl who captured my heart and forced me to cling to my Savior.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 

- Romans 5:3-5

It is worth it. He is worth it.

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