I'm surrounded by sorrow.
I know it's not third-world sorrow, and sometimes that really frustrates me, but it's still sorrow.
Comfort, democracy, capitalism, independence and wealth can breed their own demons of sorrow, of loneliness, lies and despair.
A freshly widowed wife, friends' husbands who betray, children scarred by the sins of this world, by the sins of their fathers...
...by the sins of me.
This week I was grieving some things with a dear warrior in the faith, and she said, "I just don't know if I can do this. I just can't see anything, you know. I can't feel. Nothing is for certain."
Her words stirred me all week, and I began thinking, What if?
What if my eyes were never meant to see, but to behold His glory and beauty in the earth?
What if my mouth was never meant to defend myself, but to proclaim His goodness and praise?
What if my hands were never meant to feel a tangible outcome, but to be His hands of mercy and justice? And to create the beauty He allows me to create?
What if I was meant to see with my soul the things unseen, and hear from deep within me His whisper, "This is the way, walk in it"? And, to be led to act from a Spirit that stirs in my heart?
What if all these things I cling to, to bring me satisfaction of control - my sight, my hearing, my feeling, my words - what if they are only symptoms? And I have misunderstood their meaning all along?
What if they are only meant to carry out those things from deep within?
I'm just saying, What if?