Nasty True Confessions

Don't give up on me until the end...

Once upon a time, I wanted to adopt.

I wanted to grow our family, and I wanted a daughter.

I wanted for you to look at me and think I was pretty cool.

(I'm cringing at the pride.)

My heart also wanted Jesus, but to be completely honest, I wanted it for selfish reasons - to proclaim my glory and get my way.

Then I saw the numbers - 147 million. And I saw the faces. And I realized it wasn't about me. Slowly, it became less about adopting - though I still long for it - it became about the children. And I began to see the amazingly beautiful ways the Body of Christ could serve, the ways my covenant family could show these faces, their hearts - their true Creator...to give them a taste they were made for more.

Then, I met foster care. I realized again it's not about me, though I need support. And, really, it's not about those 147 million precious faces. There are Mommas and Daddies, and aunts and uncles, and sisters and brothers, and grandparents. There's the department of human resources, and social workers, and lawyers and judges. And, all these are hearts in desperate need of encouragement, in need of their arms to be lifted, in need of renewed hope.

Then, I saw a glimpse of what it could be with the transcending, transforming reality of Jesus.

And I knew, it's not about me, or the precious children, or the fighting mommas and daddies, or the grieving grandparents, siblings, aunts or uncles. It's not about the faithful social workers, lawyers, or judges.

It's about Jesus, my Savior - the one who took my nasty true confessions.

Four years ago, I wanted to adopt. Today, I want the journey that takes me to my Jesus.


My foes are many
They rise against me
But I will hold my ground
I will not fear the war
I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way
My help is on the way

Oh, my God
He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear
His promise is true
My God will come through always

Trouble surrounds me
Chaos abounding
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war
I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way
My help is on the way

I lift my eyes up
My help comes from the Lord


No comments:

Post a Comment