In the Words of Pink, or Maybe the Words of God are Better...

So, each month we are visited in our home by each social worker. It's required.

They check on the child, review the case and remind us that we are all partnering to work together towards our child's reunification with his or her birthparents, or whatever option is on the table if we've reached that point in a case.

And today Cinderella's worker came.

I was gently reminded of the way things are moving and the option that is foremost on the minds of her worker and the courts.

The moment I closed the door I wanted to hide in a closet and cradle my crazy baby girl for the rest of her life.

And, then I heard Pink's song "Try"... (even if she isn't exactly talking about foster care...)

Ever worry that it might be ruined

 And does it make you wanna cry?

When you're out there doing what you're doing

Are you just getting by?

Where there is desire

There is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame

Someone's bound to get burned

But just because it burns

Doesn't mean you're gonna die

You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try...

After that our Seeds song came on my shuffle, and I have to say God says it much better...

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

² 

When you pass through the waters,

    I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

    they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

    you will not be burned;

    the flames will not set you ablaze.

³ 

For I am the Lord your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior....

⁴ 

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,

    and because I love you,

Do not fear, for I am with you...Isaiah 43

The reality is we're called to be poured out like a drink offering (2 Timothy 4); we're not our own ( I Corinthians 6), and we carry around the death of Christ within, so that the life of Christ may abound (2 Corinthians 4).

There are no guarantees, except that this life is not my own, and I am called to pour myself out for the One who bled for me, and He will uphold us.

And so, I'll lay that crazy baby on the altar, knowing there's One who longs for her so much more than I could ever dream.