Transparency

I have been so overwhelmed this week.

Emails from all across the country filled with prayers, gratefulness and encouragement. Foster families going through their first reunifications, foster families missing past children, friends blessing us.

A Grandmother and Daddy who hugged me and said we changed their lives, as I placed their son, their grandson back into their arms, ending my season as his mother.

Knowing every victory is your power in us. 

I've watch other families celebrate with bittersweet joy, like us, as they reunified children who they have loved as their own - fully - for six months, a year, two years...

I've watched new children come in to care.

I've held my sons and daughters as they cried because they missed their baby brother.

And Jamie pulled me in and said, "If we had never had J, if we had never loved fully and said goodbye well, we wouldn't be on our knees, crying with our children, modeling Godly grief for them. This is an honor to do this with them. They are crying out to their Savior. Catie, look what God is doing just by us saying yes."

And I screamed, "I don't want to be used anymore, if it's hurts like this."

And he pulled me back in and whispered, Jesus is real.

Jesus is real.

I listened to this Matt Redman song 30 times while running today...

"Never Once"

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful