When the World doesn't quite understand...

"Road not Taken" by Robert Frost, 1916 ~ TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. He didn't write it for himself, but for war buddy who always second-guessed the choices he had made. Yet, I watched a Christmas day interview from years ago, and Frost was asked, What are your greatest regrets? He responded simply by quoting this timeless classic. Once upon a time, I wanted to grow up to make you happy, to make you approve, to make you proud. Perhaps you were family, maybe an acquaintance, or leadership in church. Maybe you were simply a stranger I met, and I simply wanted to be known. I sought strived after the checklist I was certain would meet the requirements of my attaining your recognition: the career, the husband with status, the appearance, the clothes, the house, the car...the endless spinning wheels of emptiness. Then one day I heard it from our pastor's wife, Wendy Allison. She quoted Jonah 2:8, Those who cling to worthless idols, forfeit the grace that could be theirs.  And in an instant I was naked, gutted...and free. Because earning the false grace of this world and its approval had cost my very identity, my soul. Suddenly, owning that truth, forced me to come clean. As a recent Need to Breathe songs says, there is a deep broken beauty in "surrendering to your design." Lovethispic.com And, dear World,  I was never designed to meet your approval or expectations. I was crafted to be beckoned to a call that shatters your boxes, mystifies your understanding, defies your boundaries... I was woven together for the One who {as Andrew Peterson sings} defeated Death at Death's own game... My addiction of reputation and recognition had brought me death upon death...the pending death of my marriage, my vision of motherhood, my hope, my longings, my dreams... And that day I returned home, surrendering the idols that had kept me alive, to their Death...those things I thought this world needed from me... And as Jonah wrote...their death, brought grace to life. In turn, He's invited me ~ me ~ to bring that same grace to the darkness of those who thought their stories had ended. From the outside looking in ~ There are days my life does not make sense.  There are moments you wish our adventure was over.  It would be more comfortable for you...and for me. But my Friend, remember, we were not made for this world. We were made to look like Jesus. We are clothed in His righteousness now. And, one day the hammering and chiseling will be complete for us to be fully like Him. That is worth the death of every idol. And that is worth the cost of taking the path less traveled because it will make all the difference. Because of Jesus ~