As it says in Proverbs 31, we rise
to bless you. It’s one of the deep, aching longings of your heart, to hear
those words rather than the noise of the chaotic juggle you navigate within
this world of foster care.
It’s the answer to your shadows of
wondering if you really did hear your Heavenly Father’s voice to follow down
this twisted, jumbled path…to the creeping doubts that surface when she screams
she hates you because you’re not her mama, when you pack the bag for another
weekly visit and feel your throat lurch inside of you, when you hold the one
you’ve held since birth for the last time.
We bless you.
You are different than when you
began this pilgrimage, when you set off amongst the strange looks and
concerning questions. You’re more tender, deeper…more sober.
And you know you are waltzing
through one of the most unnatural dances possible. You trip, stumble and often
feel there is no one to lead you, spin you...to search your eyes and see the
caverns that now trace deep within your heart and cause the most sporadic tears
to surface.
But He is leading you, and as He
spins you He peers deeply into your soul and whispers with delight that your
tears are beautiful because He knows they are shed from your altar of
sacrifice, from the groaning utters you allow to escape when you’re on your
battered knees of war. Because you know that this calling is not simply one to
foster care or a system, but a commitment to carry the children placed in your
care before the throne of grace with confidence for the rest of their lives.
Of all the mamas in the world, He
invited you into this dance, with this child, with this family, with this
worker.
And so when you’ve tripped and
fallen once again, you rise ever more humbly, ever more boldly to stand and say
yes again, to hope again, to love again, to grieve the immense losses that
enter your home again.
You are a beautifully broken mother,
and in the spaces where you feel most shattered, the world looks in and sees
your Redeemer most vibrantly.
And together we bless Him.
And cry out with you as it says in
Isaiah 54:13, “All your children will be taught by the Lord and great will be
their peace.”
You are a beautiful mother. Ever lifting
you before our Savior,
Tears. Beautiful. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThis is so very encouraging!!! Thank you - I will be sharing it!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this, needed it today... so beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteThanks, this feels as it was written just for me. I will soon loose my little foster daughter that I've loved & nursed back to health since she was a tiny baby. I will forever be changed by her though & even though it's hard, I know God meant for it to be.
ReplyDeleteAs I head to court tomorrow with a precious one and a broken heart, I SO needed this tonight. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteLove love love.
ReplyDeleteI'm reading this for the third time and it's still reverberating in my soul. Thank you for sharing these words. It means so much that other foster mamas know what I know and have felt what I've felt.
ReplyDeleteI just went back and read it again, too! SO needed in my heart right now!
DeleteThank you for this. It touched me deeply and helps me push through a rough day :)
ReplyDeleteWow. Beautiful. Thankful to have found your blog and read this lovely reminder. Blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteI cried reading this. This is exactly where I am in being a new foster mommy. Thank you SO much for sharing from you heart! Praising the Lord for this!
ReplyDeleteThank you for these beautiful truths. Permission to share?
ReplyDelete