Tasting

If you're not aware, it's National Adoption/Orphan Awareness Month.

I never knew this existed until last year.

This Sunday, November 6th, hundreds of churches will join together to proclaim their hope in the gospel and to advocate the ministries of adoption and orphan care among the nations.

If you know me well, you know this orphan thing has always been part of my life, my heart. It was one of the first things I told Jamie when we began dating. I didn't grow up with this as an integral part of my family or life, but it was something always deep inside me.

If you're a close friend, there's a chance you're tired of Jamie and me. We've started hearing that this has taken over our lives, defined us, become the essence of who we are.

Maybe.

As I've said here many times, it would be so easy to sit in a church pew this Sunday and hear the shoulds, the coulds, the woulds because we are commanded to care for the orphan, the widow, the stranger.

But the truth is, when I look around, and see those I love choosing comfort, ease, predictability...My heart doesn't judge or guilt, it grieves.

Granted, we are all ministering in hundreds of ways, and we are all called to so many passions of our Father, but there are those of us who are choosing to stay safe and play it cool. I know because there was one day I wanted that more than anything.

But now, I've tasted. I've tasted what it is to fully delight myself - as much as I can know on this earth - in my Savior. I've tasted what it is to come utterly to the end of myself - hourly, and watch my Jesus appear.

I've tasted the brokenness of shattered dreams, waded through the muck with families, wept over the helplessness. I've tasted and seen those who really have never heard, or dreamed of the reality that they were made for more than this.

And I - the Lumpkin gang - have been there. To see firsthand our Father meet us, meet others over and over and over. There's so many moments where we almost missed the beauty, the ashes. And in a moment, He caught us to say Watch My hand move.

Speechless.

So when I sit in the pew on Orphan Sunday or as I listen to any other ministry being presented, I grieve as so many of us leave to the tune, "That's so amazing for you, because I could never..."

The Lumpkins aren't special. We're not superheroes, as much as we dress the part. The secret is none of us on this wild journey are. We just allow our Father to dream, to actualize the What If's through us....

And our world has exploded.

Now, I can't taste enough. I want more. I want Him. I want to see my Savior save, my Redeemer redeem, my Restorer restore.

So for today, I'm grateful for ...

Just tasting Him.

Humiliation

I'm surrounded by brokenness. I'm feeding it, washing it, living it. It's been compounded in the last few days.

Humiliation.

It's a word multiple people have said to me over the last week for different situations, heartaches, broken worlds.

You could take that word two ways.

1. When a mother, a father, a friend, tells me they are humiliated, I could whisper the words running through my mind, Bless your heart, you poor thing.

Then I tighten my jacket, pop on my lipgloss, and return to my controllable world (ha, ha).

Or....

2. I could invite that man, woman, hurting soul, into my life. Bring all their messiness to join with mine. I could take them to my Jesus, who on the cross took all. their. shame.

He exchanged it for hope, life, joy, and peace.

As I was so beautifully reminded yesterday....Jesus knew even THAT sin when He took on the shame of the world and bore it at the cross.

So today, I will thank Abba for the brokenness and humiliation because it takes me to the cross. It takes me to the truth that my God is a restoring God, and once again, I'm invited to bring that restoration to others today.

Gratefulness...

November...

Can you smell it? Hear it? See it?

Our backyard is a sea of leaves, every vibrant color. I can't take enough peaks out the window between laundry and diaper changing breaks to take it all in.

I hate having a "grateful" month. I've had every intention of following the 1,000 Gifts challenges and other thanksgiving projects throughout the year, but the minutes just weren't there. So, I suppose now is about as great a time to start as any.

Grateful for this...

Jamie gave his testimony at our Sunday school class on Sunday morning. I was horrified to hear him tell. it. all. He held nothing back. He told about the packing of bags, the screaming, the breaking of plates. He told of the days we didn't think we could stand each other one more day.

I felt myself sinking into my chair, making jokes to lighten the mood.

Then he told of his redemption, our redemption...the moment when we, as a family, fell to our knees and decided to quit fighting God. He told how our God is a restoring God; He's in the business of using us to take that restoration to others. We just have to say... Yes.

Those first five years, God was the same God. But, we were saying... No. I wanted my plans, my life, my freedom.

Now, each day, I rise to follow this man who is following his God, inviting us to say... Yes.

I'm so grateful.